Authoritative Parenting Style and Its Effect on Children

Authoritative Parenting Style and Its Effect on Children : Chris was brought up with authoritative parenting style by their parents with strict discipline. They never considerate about his feelings and had shown no interest in his desires and feelings. If he comes late from school just for 10 minutes, they used to scold him. Punishing by beating and scolding was their regular habit.

Chris was a good boy. He was good at studied in school and always obeyed his teacher, but he was often used to be lonely and sad and never found life interesting. He had completed his graduation and got a good job. He got married and became a parent for two children. It was always in his mind that he should never treat his children the way he had been treated. He gave enough importance to their feelings. He wanted them to be feel proud of being his children. Chris was a caring father. He used to spend good time with his children by taking care of them with love and affection, playing with them regularly, communicating with them and listening to them. 

Chris always felt that his children's feelings were more important than his feelings. He always gave importance to their demands and feelings more than his desires. He never thought his life was important so he was mainly interested in his children's needs and gave much importance to them than him. Because of such style of parenting, he became a permissive parent.

The outcome of authoritarian parenting style is that he never felt important about him. As a result of being a permissive parent, his children grown up with demanding nature, thinking that they were the best and deserves more importance than others and were not respectful and caring towards other people.

Both the parenting styles mentioned above are not right parenting styles.

There is another parenting style called loving parenting, is a parenting that gives importance to both the children's and parent's desires and feelings. Loving parents normally will not try to restrict their children except in case safety and health matters. At the same time these parents will not allow their children to command them. They will not irritate their children and will they allow their children to irritate them. They will give equal importance to them as well as their children.

Loving parents restrict their children from bad behaviour and do not allow their children to manipulate their limits. These parents never worry about rejection by their children as they are confident and value themselves very much. They treat their children as complete individuals even though their nature is different, they do not restrict their freedom but at the same time these parents ensure that they grow up with love, affection, honesty and discipline.

If you want to be a loving parent, first you have to forget your past if you had brought up with authoritarian parenting style. If you brought up with authoritative parenting style, you will have fears of domination and rejection thus you will try to over do your things as you do not want to do the same thing to your children out of fear of rejection by them. You will always have the fear of being rejected or controlled by them while parenting your children. So first you have to forget how you had been brought up or heal the wounds your parents had inflicted on you in order to maintain a natural parenting style that is loving parenting.

To raise a healthy children, you have to nurture your wounded child in you. Unless you do this you will not be able to overcome your fears and these will reflect in your day to day parenting your children. We have to keep in mind that number of people who are alcoholic, drug addicts and using anti depression drugs is increasing. The crime rate is also increasing as there are more number of people are in prisons compared to earlier. This may be due to either authoritative parenting style or permissive parenting.

Hence it is high time to bring our personality to normal by healing the wounds inflicted by our parents to become loving parents.